I Can’t Count All the Snows

“I didn’t know it was morning,” Henry said as I raised the blinds in his hospital room. “How did it get morning?” he asked.

“You went to sleep last night, and got better. Now it’s morning. And look,” I said gesturing to the window, “It’s snowing.”

He looked out of the window, his arm held straight, but at an odd angle by its IV splint.

“I can’t count all the snows,” he replied as his eyes darted from heavy flake to flake melting just above the labyrinth of the hospital’s lower roofs.

My eyes felt like someone had rubbed them with sandpaper. Less than twelve hours before, in the ambulance ride from one hospital to the other, I tried to count the number of his hospitalizations, the nights I’d slept beside his isolette, in his hospital bed, or not at all. I lost count after fifteen.


But this is not that sad story. There will be sad (and happy) stories to come, and more nights to spend in his hospital rooms. That’s life with type 1. Instead, this is a story of advocacy; there’s power in knowledge.

Tummy bugs can be dangerous with type 1 because ketones develop quickly, while blood sugars often drop. As if this weren’t complex enough, the nauseous person can’t keep anything down so it’s dangerous to give the insulin and fluids needed to clear ketones. If ketones are high enough long enough, then DKA develops. Thankfully, an IV with a sugar drip is a simple solution.

This time, it took two hospitals, an ambulance ride, and eight attempts to start his IV. Early in the morning, on the pediatric unit, his ketones moved from large, to small, to trace, and we took a deep breath, once again witnessing the “difficult magic” of diabetes.

I watched Henry sleep and thought of the tense moments last night as the sixth or seventh person dug in his hand, searching for a vein while Henry cried out in fear and pain, his blood sugar teetering at 68 and large ketones, the blood work showing that he was becoming acidotic, the well-meaning medical staff, whose experience with type 1 was nascent.


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Outside, the first flurries of snow were falling, after a warm and protracted fall. Finally, the season’s cold was descending. In a few hours, we’d be on our way home from the hospital with another reminder that type 1 diabetes is a balancing act between highs and lows, too much, too little,—an emergency and the everyday.

 

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Hard Questions on World Diabetes Day, and Everyday

November 14th is World Diabetes Day (WDD), a day created by the International Diabetes Federation to bring awareness to the growing concerns surrounding type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Last year, I recognized WWD with the 2015 Type 1 Diabetes Index.  This year, some of those numbers have grown.

 

My son is in his second week of participating in a sport, so I’m new to managing blood sugars during organized physical activities. During his first week of practice, I sat watching the CGM (constant glucose monitor) as it read 120 with an arrow straight down, then the next read out, five minutes later, was 90 with two arrows down. At practice this week, I disconnected his pump, hoping to avoid the rapid drop.

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As I held his makeshift pancreas in my hand, I looked up and saw grandparents taking short videos, parents cheering kids on, siblings sitting through practice, drinking from juice boxes, eating unmeasured food. In one hand was my son’s insulin pump, the other his CGM receiver, and with all my willpower, telepathically, I was willing his blood sugar not to drop any lower, but it was 98 with an arrow down. As I rushed downstairs to give him a glucose tab, it struck me, once again, how different my experience of the ordinary often is, usually because I’m thinking about some difficult diabetes question or trying to do diabetes math, which is impossible, by the way.

For World Diabetes Day 2016, I’m sharing a few of the typical questions I have throughout any given day.

If he’s eating 45 carbs for dinner, with lots of protein, but not much fat, is 1.75 units of insulin enough to cover the meal?

Should I wait 5 more minutes to see if one glucose tab is enough to bring his blood sugar up?

Will the school nurse think I’m overprotective if I call? I just dropped him off at school with 2 units of insulin on board, a glucose tab in his mouth, and he’s 79 with an arrow down. Yes, call. Are you crazy? Why would you not call and tell her this?

Did I give him enough insulin?

Did I give him too much insulin?

Should I explain to the man who just picked up his kid and moved him to the other side of the pool after seeing the medical devices on my son that my son is not dangerous or contagious? Should I tell him it’s OK to ask questions, but not to stare and ostracize?

OK, the packaged pasta says 2/3 cup of dry pasta is 44 carbs. Hmmm. How is dry pasta a useful nutrition fact? Do people actually eat dried pasta?

Why do I feel guilty and lucky at the same time because my son has access to insulin and others don’t?

When I walk in his bedroom this morning, will he be conscious?

Why does he eat the exact breakfast every morning and sometimes he’s 120 an hour after and other times he’s over 300? The.exact.same.breakfast.

What if Henry has kids and they get diabetes?

As I look at his CGM many hours after eating out, I wonder just what exactly is in restaurant food.

When I’m talking to a representative  from my insurance company after they’ve limited my son’s test strips and declared his Dexcom CGM out of network, and I ask this person how much my son’s life is worth, do I really expect an answer? Do I really want them to answer this question?

How will my son handle the burden of type 1 diabetes as a teenager?

Is his sister peeing more than normal? Am I?

After asking for the nutrition information at a national chain of ice cream parlors, do I push it and try to explain for a third time that I’m asking for carbohydrates, which are a very different thing from calories?

When Henry is anxious about a site change, he says, “I don’t want to have diabetes. Why do I have diabetes?” Is it enough to say, “I don’t want you to have diabetes either,” and “I don’t know.”

Those two pieces of pizza are 70 carbs. Right?

After learning of someone else in my local community is diagnosed with T1D, I wonder why the CDC is not tracking the incidence of type 1.

How will Henry respond when some of his classmates stop being curious and start being hurtful?

Sleeping in two and three hour intervals is enough, right?


November is diabetes awareness month. Please consider signing this petition that asks the CDC to start tracking the occurrence of T1D or making a donation to a diabetes organization.

Confessing to a Cookie

A few times a week I find myself in a conversation or action that illustrates how different my son’s childhood is from his sister’s and classmates’— my own childhood. On one hand, I attempt to manage diabetes, but with the other, I try to orchestrate a “normal” childhood for Henry. We’ve never made any food or activity off-limits for him, but instead try a little bit of most things.

The weather is still warm enough to walk to and from school, and easily my favorite part of the day is being greeted by Henry after his day at Kindergarten. He usually has some very important fact to tell me, such as, 16 is an even number.

The day the local firemen came, Henry bounded out of the classroom door yelling, “How old are our smoke detectors? Did you know you can only use a smoke detector for 8-10 years? If you take it off, there’s a date on the back. Can we go home and see the date on the back?” (For the record, I did not know this).

Today he ran out of the door, hugged me, and took my hand for the walk home. He was uncharacteristically quiet, until he said, “I didn’t eat all my lunch.”

“That’s O.K.,” I replied. “What part didn’t you eat?”

Chocolate Nibs. I ate a cookie instead. We celebrated somebody’s birthday. That means my lunch was 56 carbs, not 31 carbs.”

Our small town is so adorable that I jokingly say we live in Stars Hallow. It was a gorgeous fall afternoon, the maple trees orange blazes against a blue sky, leaves crunching underneath our steps, but we weren’t talking about any of that. Instead, Henry seemed almost worried, checking in to make sure everything was fine.

“You know that you can eat anything you want?” I asked. “We just need to know how many carbs it has so we know how much insulin to give you.”

“Yes, I know. The insulin comes in units. We count those too.”

Of course he knows. He knows beyond knowing.

 

Confessions of a D-Mom

Tomorrow it could dip into the 30s. I’ve been watching the weather for a couple of weeks, expecting the first plunge into freezing, so I switched out the kids’ clothes from summer to winter. And like usual, I discovered they outgrew most everything from last year, which is how I found myself in Target this weekend, shopping for boys’ pants by shoving my hands down the front pockets.

Hands deep in a pair of cargo pants, I became acutely aware of side-eye from a fellow parent and shopper. Along with side-eye, color and style are the least of my concerns when it comes to shopping for clothes for my six-year-old son with type 1 diabetes. Instead, I search for deep pockets that will hold his insulin pump and a flexible waistband that won’t pull a site out from his backside.

So there I was, innocently shopping for pants, when I found myself in a d-mom (mother to a person with diabetes) moment. Honestly, these d-mom moments are pretty routine, appearing like little blips on a radar; some are even funny, but others break my heart all over again.

Here are a few cumulative and recent d-mom moments.

When my son is grumpy, mean, or angry for no reason, I automatically check is blood sugar before I do anything else.

I can count the times I’ve slept through the night the last two and a half years on one hand.

I accidentally sent a text intended for my husband to the school nurse.

When my son told me this story the other night, I felt like we’re handing this diabetes thing pretty all right: “Mama, when I’m on American Ninja Warrior, my story is going to be this. At first I was little, but then I got bigger. I ate food that was good for me, and I didn’t get afraid of as many things anymore. I have diabetes, and at first I didn’t like the pokes. The sensor hurts more than the site, but it’s all O.K.”

I say my son is high in public.

I have a mental rolodex of carbs memorized. This makes me very unpopular at parties.

I’m less patient with willful ignorance than I use to be, but I’m more patient when it comes to failure.

Today my son was on the low side, and he took some pop corn out of the bag I was holding (and eating from). It occurred to me that we’ve never really shared a snack like that. Most of his food is weighed or measured, not eaten out of a package that contains multiple servings.

Every day diabetes takes up time, sometimes literal hours are sucked away battling new insurance restrictions or stubborn blood sugars and ketones, but paradoxically, it’s also forced me to exist in a tiny moment, like after I’ve treated a really low blood sugar. Henry and I lie on the couch, waiting to recheck his BG, and when he feels better, he tells me about this new movie he’s writing. It’s called “War of the Stars,” (I suspect some copyright infringement), and there’s these two characters called Citeloneum, he’s the goody guy, and Vitloneum, he’s the bad guy. Citeloneum has a site because he has diabetes.

 

 

 

 

LOVE IS ON 2016 Challenge

I just returned from giving my son a juice box in his sleep. His blood sugar was low, 68, and about half an hour earlier it was 62. My son is 6, and he has type 1 diabetes. Right now, I’m his pancreas. I count carbs, estimate how the types of foods he eats will interact with the amount of insulin I give him. I think about his blood sugar at least once every waking hour. I even dream about blood sugar numbers.

However, this won’t always be the case. This is Henry’s diabetes, not mine. Little by little, I’ll hand over the tools and knowledge he’ll need to keep himself alive and healthy. Like a parent teaching a child to drive, we’ll circle the block, drive around town, and eventually he’ll back out of the driveway alone.

In the future, when Henry is his own pancreas, I won’t know about every low, how much insulin he gave himself, nor what he ate. He’ll figure out this diabetes management thing from us (from all the years of talk and practice) but also from other places, like the diabetes online community (DOC). When he’s older, he won’t share all the challenges he has to endure. He’ll rightly look to other people with T1D, and thankfully, the DOC offers amazing resources: personal blogs, research, nonprofits, and communities, like Beyond Type 1.

Beyond Type 1 is an exciting organization that aims “to be provocative, inclusive and disruptive: putting a face on this disease, clearing up misunderstandings about who is affected by T1D and eradicating the stigma that comes from living with a chronic disease. [Beyond Type 1 recognizes] there is a different narrative to be told: that of a strong empowered community living a powerful life beyond the diagnosis” (from www.beyondtype1.org). Unlike some places on the internet, Beyond Type 1 focuses on being empowered and living beyond a T1D diagnosis.

I am beyond thankful that Nick Jonas and celebrity chef, Sam Talbot, spoke up and out about their T1D, and helped found Beyond Type 1. I’m glad there are a bunch of amazing people working at Beyond Type 1 to create a positive community with many resources for education, access, and empowerment.

Right now, Beyond Type 1 is in a fund raising challenge, the Revlon LOVE IS ON 2016 challenge. For the organization that raises the most money, Revlon will donate another $1 million dollars. Please consider making a donation in any amount. We just did.

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@beyondtype1 shared Henry's story today. #t1d #diabetes

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Rachel & Coco Go To Kindergarten

I was middle school dance nervous the night before visiting my son’s Kindergarten classroom. The plan was for me to read Go, Team Coco!, a book that helps educate young children about type 1 diabetes, to Henry’s class.

I wasn’t nervous about being in a room full of Kindergartners, but I was nervous that after reading a book about diabetes, that some kid would tell Henry what he could or couldn’t eat, would point at his medical devices, that later, in fourth grade, kids might make fun of him, not want to pick him for sports, not invite him to their houses or birthday parties, and hopefully much, much later, not want to date him, or marry him, or hire him, or…

On our walk to school, Henry was excited and asked if I could stay all day. His big sister wanted to know if I could read to her class about diabetes. Truthfully, I didn’t want to read about diabetes at all. I didn’t want to put any fuel on fears for the future, but I sat down at story time and told the class, “One day when Henry was three-years-old he got very sick, but then he got better. He wears a pump and CGM to help us keep him healthy,” and a strange movement caught my eye from the center of the rug, where the kids were seated.

I saw Henry reach into his pocket to get out his pump and show the class. His teacher suggested that he come and sit next to me. With a smile, he joined me in the front of the room. He showed them his pump, (and it’s a really cool pump, by the way, sometimes it turns into a pump laser or a really, really bad disco laser, so Henry says). I read some of the story, and Henry explained what it was like to feel low, when Coco was low. We finished the book and unprompted, the kids all chanted, “Go Team Coco” with me.

And then the hands shot up. I learned which kids have asthma, another kid described how his grandma checks her blood sugar, another kid’s sibling has type 1, another grandparent has diabetes, and another. For a strange moment, diabetes unified a room of Kindergartners, who talked so eagerly, wanting to be part of something by sharing their experience.

 

As Henry lives with diabetes, I know all his peers won’t accept him as easily as this room full of Kindergartners, but many will.

I tucked the book back in my bag for the short walk home, and it occurred to me that since diabetes takes so much from us there’s no need for me to build straw houses of fear that I’m afraid will burn at some future time. Sometimes, it’s me, and not diabetes that’s the gasoline. In this present moment, none of my fears mattered. My son was a few blocks away, in a room full of curious friends, wearing an awesome pump laser.

 

 

Back to School Night with Type 1 Diabetes

My son with type 1 diabetes starts Kindergarten day after tomorrow. He’s excited, and we’re excited. We anticipate a safe environment in which he’ll learn, grow, and be healthy. We’ve met and planned with the school, but just hours ago, on the walk home from back to school night, tiny cyclones of fear, worry, and jealously snaked inside me.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes means a pile of glucose tabs, glucagon kits, test strips, extra insets, a ketone serum meter, airheads for the really low lows, spreadsheets of instructions, snacks with carbs, snacks without carbs, lancets, a back-up meter, and extra adhesive have been queued in your dinning room for a week.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes means you walk your son to all the bathrooms closest to his classroom. You point out the water fountains along the way.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes is taking four times as long to drop off materials as other families because you have so many more items. In fact, when you’re dropping off supplies and signing form after form in the nurse’s office, the courteous mother behind you tells the staff that she’ll be back tomorrow, meaning when they’re less busy. It’s realizing, in that moment, despite your two big bags of supplies, that you forgot the snacks with carbs, so you’ll be back tomorrow as well.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes is walking the route between the nurse’s office and his classroom several times, just to make sure he doesn’t get lost. You realize it’s a trip he’ll make several times a day, and he’ll know it like the back of his hand in a week.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes is rushing from work to the pharmacy so you can get the glucagon kits for school, and as you walk past the cashier to the pharmacy counter, you see a mother wave a purple glittery pencil box before she pays for it. You overhear her say to the cashier, “It’s back to school night tonight, and this is the last thing we need. We almost forgot about it.” A needle of jealousy pierces you, and you wish back to school night was just about pencil boxes and markers, a blithe almost forgetting of things. But then you remember to be kind, because everyone is fighting great invisible battles. Surely living with type 1 has taught you that.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes means looking at all the other boys and girls that your son will most likely go to school with for the next thirteen years and hoping that they will be compassionate and understanding. But you’ve been a kid on a playground and in a lunchroom. You know kids aren’t empathetic and kind all the time.

Back to school night with type 1 diabetes is hoping your non-T1D kid doesn’t feel minimalized as she waits for you to finish something diabetes related for the fourth or fifth time that day. She’d like to see her classroom too, and asks if there’s still time to visit her teacher.

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Back to school night with diabetes is forcing yourself to breathe as you walk behind this guy who is, and will, shoulder so much. You tell yourself you’re just sending your kid off to Kindergarten, that lucky parents whose kids were born after the discovery of insulin 95 years ago, and kids whose T1D is caught in enough time, get to do that— send their kids off to Kindergarten.

A Time Diabetes Bossed Us

Henry’s recent love of Angry Birds Star Wars on his iPod and the curvy roads back East let us know that he gets car sick. About 40 minutes into our 571 mile trip back from the beach, (which should take about 9 hours) he began to feel sick.

Car traveling jacks up Henry’s blood sugar, so to compensate, we increase his basal temporarily to deliver 80% above his normal basal rate, which usually keeps his blood sugar between 80 and 150. However, one look at his continuous glucose monitor (CGM) told me his BG was falling. I tested his blood for the glucose level and ketones. His blood sugar was 62 and he had moderate ketones. We’d entered the terrible T1D paradox of nausea. Insulin and fluids are what flush ketones out of the system, but with a low BG and a sick tummy, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to take in or keep down carbs so that insulin can be delivered.

I climbed to the back seat and canceled the temporary basal increase. I coaxed Henry to eat or drink any carb he wanted, but apple juice and Airheads made him gag. We pulled into a gas station, and after some really dramatic moments, he managed to swallow a Dramamine with some apple juice. We walked around, and I panicked purchased a number of candies that came in a gel form, a sleep pillow, and a roll of paper towels.

Within half an hour we were back on the road, two arrows up on the CGM, Henry drinking sugar free liquids, insulin delivered, and ketones gone. It took a while before he felt like eating, but when he did, we stopped at a place Henry named. When it came time to place his order, big tears welled up in his eyes, and he said he didn’t want to eat there. Normally, Henry loves mealtime, so this behavior threw us. Finally, he decided on a bowl of rice, black beans, chicken, and cheese, and we bolused for half of it.

Henry ate half, and saved the rest for later. Later arrived, and we bolused for the rest as Henry grazed in the late afternoon. I  watched his blood glucose rise to 200, then 265, then 310, then 381, then HIGH (on a CGM this means it’s above 400). All the while, I rage bolused more insuiln, .5, then .75, then 1.5. I poured on the fluids. With a high blood glucose and lots of fluid, we got to visit no less than 7 gas stations (and a bucolic roadside) before dinner, which we were holding off on until his blood glucose was below 300, so the kids had an 8 p.m. dinner.

Recently, we were at the Friends for Life Conference in Orlando, FL, where the closing keynote speaker challenged the audience to think of how diabetes had enriched our lives. When presented with this question, my first thoughts were sardonic. It’s easy to think of all the negative ways that diabetes has altered my life, and most significantly and importantly, my son’s life. However, the easy type of thinking is not very useful. Diabetes is difficult, and demands a complicated response. The way I see my son is beautifully difficult. I see a five-year-old with a generous spirit, a kid who has endured more medical procedures than me, even though I’ve been alive seven times longer than he has. I imagine the courageous person he is already becoming because he has to live with type 1. Diabetes has allowed me see me son, and yes, I mean, “I see you,” in James Cameron Avatar kind of way: a great empathy that is a heart always breaking open to need and contentment.

 

A few more gas station stops later, we were finally at our destination eleven and half hours after we started the trip. We’d blown right past bedtime, and when I tucked Henry in he said, “I don’t like diabetes.”

I said, “I don’t like it either. Why don’t you like it?”

“I don’t like diabetes because I have to wait to eat yummy candy like Airheads, and they taste delicious. It’s not fair”

Henry’s starting to realize that his diabetes makes him different. The times when he tells me that he doesn’t like diabetes are hard, and I know it’s imperative for me to be really present in these moments, but my thoughts spill out like paint splatter. Immediately, I think it was a poor decision to introduce candy as a treat for lows. I wonder how we could have been so shortsighted. I think about watching family members who are able to give their kids lemonade, crackers, juice, and candy without a second thought. I’m with Henry, it’s not fair.

“You know what, Henry,” I said. “It’s not fair, but because you have diabetes, that means we take really good care of you, and you’re going to be healthy when you grow up.”

I think about telling him that candy is like medicine for him, but think better of it. I want to keep as much of his childhood diabetes free as I can. I want candy to be just candy.

 

A Time We Bossed Diabetes

We travel a lot over the summer, and while staying with family this summer our kids saw real live commercials for the first time. And they wanted Airheads, Fruit Loops, Num Noms, and Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.

Thanks to a talk, “Hypoglycemia Prevention and Treatment” given by Gary Scheiner at Friends for Life 2016 we learned about candies that have dextrose, which are a quick rescue for lows, and Airheads just happen to be on the list. We jumped at the chance to hand over candy without consequence instead of chalky glucose tabs to treat our son’s low blood sugars.

It’s true that people with type 1 diabetes can eat anything they want to, and we don’t make foods off limits in our house. Instead we practice a little bit of all things. However, bolusing for extemporaneous juice or candy is an exercise in certain failure. Often, the carb will peak before the insulin starts to act, and the sugar burns off while the insulin is still acting, so there’s a high high, then a low.

Due to summer activity, we’ve often had to dial back basal and bolus settings. We know certain activities like the beach, swimming, or playing outside when it’s hot are likely to drive Henry’s blood sugar low. In fact, for Henry, lows can come 12 hours after activity.

With a summer of beach trips ahead, I rigged up a pretty neat way to keep Henry’s insulin and pump in good working order, and my husband bought lots of Airheads. In fact, he bought every flavor of Airhead, and even doubled up on the White Mystery flavor.

When Matt showed Henry all the Airheads ready to treat his lows, Henry said, “Give me some insulin so I can go low and try one.”

Sure enough, our second day at the beach caused a low of 62, which he felt, and uncharacteristically needed a little time from which to recover.

 

With each low, he bounced back, declaring what flavor of Airhead he’d try next. So far,  we’ve visited Edisto Beach, SC, and St. Augustine Beach, FL, and tried an orange, cherry, and blue raspberry Airhead. Lots of summer and sugar stretches joyously ahead.

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Orange Airhead, Cool Hat, St. Augustine Beach, July 2016

Teacher, Caregiver, Nurse, Friend, and Advocate

Parents of young kids with T1D know that sweaty palm, nervous gut feeling of leaving their child with someone new, especially someone new to diabetes. Handing over the diabetes equipment means handing over trust of your child’s consciousness, and over time, his or her long term health. It’s never easy to do this, but for two years, we worked with two amazing preschool teachers who will share their experiences of learning about Type 1 and managing it in a preschool classroom. “Teacher, Caregiver, Nurse, Friend, and Advocate” is by Alexis Johansen.


Diabetes. A word you rarely hear when going through college as an education major. You discuss behavior and disability interventions, teaching strategies, classroom management, and anything else that will prepare you to become a successful classroom teacher.

However, I heard “diabetes” entering my second year of teaching. My co-teacher and I were told we were going to have a child who was recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in our classroom. I cannot speak for my co-teacher, but my stomach felt very uneasy. I was worried to take on such a huge role with something I knew very little about. Many thoughts ran through my head. How do I care for a child with diabetes? Will I know what I am doing? How are we supposed to keep him safe? And most of all, how do I give him 100% of my care when I have 19 other 4 and 5 year-olds who need the same?

Unlike many public primary and secondary schools, preschools are not usually staffed with nurses, so my co-teacher and I were going to take on the nurse roll. We were in charge of keeping our little friend safe, and really when it comes down to it, alive. His parents put their trust in us to care for their child, while they themselves were still learning about caring for Type 1 Diabetes.

Not only did we have to take on this “nurse” and care giver roll, but we also had to learn to balance diabetes and the rest of the class including Henry. We were still the teachers, we were still Henry’s teachers.

Fast forward two years later, as I near the end of my time with my sweet little Henry, and all the care is now routine. But that wasn’t always the case. I think back to the first couple weeks of school, when we were learning and reading about Type 1 Diabetes. For instance, a typical day for all involved includes the following (keep in mind there is no such thing as a typical day in the diabetes world🙂

  • Between 5-10 finger pricks a day
  • Delivering insulin every day and multiple times a day
  • Counting carbs for lunch, snack, or a special cooking activity
  • Doing a pre-bolus (insuin given before a meal) for lunch along with a combo bolus (insulin given over a duration for high carb and fat foods like pizza)
  • Giving rescue carbs (glucose tabs or juice box for a low at any given point)
  • Correcting a high with an EZBG (more insulin) multiple times during the day
  • Communication with parents via group text, emails, phone calls when needed
  • Countless checks on his monitor, our personal cell phones, or his iPod

I’d say after two years, we have this balancing act figured out pretty well. There are still times where I find myself explaining to another 5 year old what a glucose tab tastes like (a gigantic smartie) or why Henry gets to have a juice box or cheese stick at random times during the day. This is all part of the balancing act. As a class we all come together to accept diabetes as part of OUR norm. This is just part of our day. The kids see us do blood checks, give rescue carbs, and give more attention to Henry at some parts of the day. But do you know what? They don’t think twice about it. They may ask a question or two, but curiosity is what makes our children learn and grow.

As I sit here typing this post, constantly checking my phone to see what his numbers are during rest time, ready to text my staff at any point, it makes realize that I have come to many conclusions and have my own thoughts about diabetes.

First of all, I love FREE FOODS (a no carb food)! The best food there is when you don’t have count carbs, knowing Henry loves them as well. To this day, my heart will always skip a little beat when I see double arrows down on his CGM (continuos glucose monitor). Pizza day is a bittersweet because I know there will always be a high and then there will most likely be a low. Exit signs, pointing with their arrows, will always remind me of Henry and his CGM (a devise used to read his blood glucose with arrows showing which direction his blood sugar is headed). Lastly, I thought Type 1 Diabetes was going to diminish my ability to teach the class, but really it made me the best teacher, caregiver, nurse, friend, and advocate that I could possibly be.

I will not look back and remember the scary lows or the difficult math (not my strong point) when it comes to figuring out carbs in a given meal or treat. I will not look back on the extra time it took to try and fully understand Type 1 Diabetes. I WILL look back and remember that little boy who took every finger prick like a champ, who made lows not so scary, who gave me the giggles when I was stressed out, who was so excited to see his blood glucose numbers (when sometimes I was dreading it), who, in all reality, gave me a whole new outlook on life. No, I will not remember Henry as the child we had with Type 1 Diabetes. I will simply just remember him as my sweet little Henry. A strong little boy who didn’t let diabetes define who he is.

exit signAlexis Johansen teaches in the 4 and 5 year old room at the University of Northern Iowa Child Development Center with her Bachelors in Early Childhood Education. She recently just finished up her third year teaching. Alexis lives in Cedar Falls, Iowa with her newly married husband and her adorable dog that loves to cuddle! When she isn’t at school with her kiddos, she enjoys reading, running, and being crafty at home.

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Lexie and Henry